Fatal Alliances: Chapter 44
Sleep never came to me last night, only worry did. Why was everything suddenly so complicated? I still didn’t understand Rocillie. I didn’t know how to feel about his situation. Should I be glad he’s suffering from inflicting so much pain on everyone I cared about and knew, or should I be agonized that my father had cancer? I wished I could go far away from everyone. Get far away from the people who hurt me. Away from Adrian, from what he did to me, how he made me feel. I was about to open the window when suddenly, I heard distant shouts coming from the foyer downstairs. Quickly, I headed there to see what was happening.
“You can’t be serious, father!” Lucas’s voice heightened in disbelief.
When I got there, I was utterly stunned to see what was taking place and who was there.
Adrian?
Vandermir stood with Ricardo composedly as they looked at the police handcuffing Rocillie. What the heck was this? All the workers of the house gathered around in disbelief as Melissa stood meekly behind a confused and angry Lucas. Rocillie was being arrested? I felt like I lost my pulse for a moment.
“There you are love, I was wondering when you were going to wake up. How did you sleep?” Rocillie asked me as if nothing was happening to him.
‘Something’s going to happen tomorrow, I could stop it from happening but I won’t. I want you to know I know.’
He knew? He knew he was going to be arrested? Oh my God. That’s what he meant? He wasn’t going to stop it from happening because…. because he was sick and going to die anyway? I didn’t know how to respond to these thoughts. Was I the only one that knew he knew?
‘This is our little secret’.
Somehow, I had a feeling I was.
‘It begins with me and it will end with me, when I want it to end’.
His words all made sense now. He was choosing to give in. He was tired from this. He wanted to retire. His days were numbered. This was his choice, the way he wanted to go down. The way he chose to. Being in prison wouldn’t matter to him because he chose to let cancer take him. He wanted this end, an end that he chose for himself.
“This is absurd! What do you mean you don’t want a lawyer?” Lucas yelled at him.
“Because I don’t want out of prison.” He replied simply, with an annoyed sigh.
“You’ve lost it!” Lucas barked at him and glared at me, “Ever since you found out about that girl!”
“I’ve had enough of this.” Ricardo interrupted signaling the cops to take Xavier Rocillie away.
“Wait!” I shouted going up to the man that helped bring me into this world.
It seemed like I was oceans apart from him at the moment even though I was actually a step away. I was supposed to hate him. He was the root of all evil, the antagonist. Taking a deep painful breath, I knew how I felt about him. I figured it out.
“Don’t forget our little secret.” He whispered with a smile.
“You’re a terrible person, you deserve to be punished.” I began coldly but my heart ached.
My harsh words never seemed to affect him, though they affected me somehow. My breaths felt like they were getting shorter, time was running out, his time was. I’ll never see this man again. It was all over. I knew he had to go, but I felt like I needed to experience something first. Slowly, hesitantly, I brought my fragile arms around him- hugging him slightly.
“But you’re not a terrible father.” I ended softly, feeling what an actual hug between a father and daughter was like. My real father. Whether I liked it or not, he was Rocillie.
“I loved your mother, Juliet,” His voice was hushed, “Know that I loved her, and know that I love you.”
My eyes were too damp now. I didn’t want him to go away from me. Not yet. I wasn’t ready.
Why? Why does this always happen to me? Why does everyone leave? The people I care about, the people who say they love me? If they do love me, then why do they leave?
Why?
“It’s time for me to go, dear.” My father stated calmly.
“Please don’t,” I whispered.
“Take him away.” An officer’s harsh voice needled through me.
I realized that the workers’ voices around us were hushed, and as I pulled away, I saw Melissa with a startled expression. Everyone who dwelled in the mansion cleared the foyers and went their own ways when the police took Rocillie away.
Maybe they didn’t know what to do now, they were obviously stunned by what had just happened. He was gone, out of everyone’s lives. Forever.
Adrian stood a few feet away from me, his eyes a searing silvery grey. I felt it burn through me, I couldn’t even look at him. I didn’t know what to say. All I could think about was what he did, how he used me, how he left me here, faltered whatever trust I had with him, he was always leaving me somewhere as if I was just some kind of hand luggage.
“Miss Greene.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” I sharply stated turning around and allowing my feet to move instantaneously away from him.
“Juliet.” He called after me, following me up the stairs.
“You’re the most atrocious person I’ve ever met in my entire life!” I spat, reaching to the room and slamming the door behind me.
“Open the door, Julie.” He said, knocking his palm on it.
“Why should I do that? You left me here you bastard!”
“I was never leaving you here. It was the best decision at the time but I was never leaving you here.”
“Just stop making decisions for me! You didn’t even care what would’ve happened to me.”
“Nothing would have happened to you. I had people in this house working for me. Nothing would have happened to you, Miss Greene. I even have a maid working here. Try and understand.”
“You just keep doing this.” My voice broke, “Always!”
“What the hell’s wrong with you, Greene?” He asked in an exasperated tone of voice.
“Wrong with me! What’s wrong with me?” I shouted opening the door to look at him, “Nothing’s wrong with me! It’s you! It’s always been you! Didn’t you at least care to tell me about anything that you were planning to do, then? Didn’t you even think about how I’d feel if you didn’t? I’m not a rock, Adrian, I have feelings. At least for the sake of the tiny bit of friendship, we had with each other. Didn’t that mean anything to you? Or was I still deadweight to you?”
“It isn’t like that.”
“No, it is. You know, I do. I do pity you. I feel sorry you can’t see anything other than business deals and contracts. If that’s what perfection is, then I don’t want to be perfect. I don’t want to be like you. And you need to stop, stop being so cold and mean to me. I’m not a robot who has no emotions! Honestly, Adrian I’ve shared everything with you, you know more about me than anyone ever does and what did you do with that? You used it against me! You made me feel so many things I shouldn’t have. Things I was trying to stay away from.”
He took a step forward, but I stopped him, “Don’t you dare come close me! Every time you do that it never ends nicely. You always go back to your prickly waspish self! You dumb, arrogant, assertive fool! You don’t understand anything.”
“Well tell me, what don’t I understand, Miss Greene?” He asked, looking almost a bit startled.
What didn’t he understand? Well, everything has to do with family, love, togetherness, friendship, etc. I wasn’t going to waste my breath by explaining that to him. He was already such a difficult man, yet somehow I always ended up thinking about him, wanting to be with him. This was wrong, I shouldn’t think like that. I always kept doing so anyway. Maybe he’s not the one who didn’t understand. Maybe it was me. Maybe I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how I felt, how he made me feel, the reason behind it. Maybe I didn’t want to admit it, admit that I – no… that I- no, no, no. I can’t possibly… this was- no- I can’t- I can’t be…
“Julie-“
“Please stop it.” I begged, feeling my voice go sore, “Nothing you’ll ever say to me right now would change how much I hate you. I just hate you so damn much Adrian.”
I hated him.
What I feared was true. What I distanced myself from was now my reality. Why did he do this to me? Dear God, why? I hated him more than I ever did right now.
I hated him for making me fall in love with him.
Fall in love with a person that would possibly never feel the same way towards me. A person who had probably given his heart already to another girl and lost it years ago. Someone who didn’t know what love was again because he was deprived of it. As he said, he wanted no one else with him, he liked the solitude. A person who had absolutely no interest of falling in love now. Why did this hurt so much? I felt as if my insides were bleeding. There was absolutely no hope or a chance at all. This was what I was afraid of. Afraid of this heartache, this bitter agony. I didn’t want to experience it, this pain. It felt like Hell.
“If this is what you…” He trailed with a slow breath.
“Just forget it.” I replied so quietly that I was almost unable to hear myself, “The partnership is finished, we don’t have anything to do with each other again. Just forget everything.”
With that, I shut the door on him. Shut him out of my life. Maybe if I was away from him then this wouldn’t hurt so much. I’ll do what I said, I’ll forget, forget about Adrian Vandermir. I’ll forget about him being the only man that could make me feel loved, understand me when I didn’t say a word, and sway me by just a simple yet rare smile. I’ll forget that he saved my life and because of him, I’m alive today. I’ll forget that he kept me safe and forget the way he made me feel when he kissed me, when he held me. I’ll forget everything. I’ll forget him.
I’ll try.
With my back against the door, I slide down in utter mess and distraught. Was I going to live with this pain all my life? Was I scarred for life with this? The mere thought of that made my insides acidify. Poisonous venom laced through my body in the form of heartache. God, I was going to die, but dying was too easy in comparison to what I was feeling. It was suffocating me.
This pain… it was unbearable.
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