Fatal Alliances: Chapter 46

I knew what I had to do.

Crawling out of bed, I pulled the drapes to let the sunshine revive me. No, instead I had it spit in my face with its overcast sky. Figures. Nothing was ever going to be going the way I wanted it to be, the way I wished it to be. Yesterday’s memories were still fresh in my mind. I said so many things. I accepted the fact that I was in love with Adrian- a hopeless love. This wound was so deep I felt like I would actually collapse and die of dejection right now. No, I had to get my head together, forget it. And the only way to do that was to get away from this place. Go far away from him, from everyone here. Go back home wherever the heck that was.

I’ve said so many rude things. I knew some of it was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have said that to him. God, this guilt was going to kill me. These situations were really starting to screw with me and my sanity. Maybe I’m the bipolar one? No, no- I couldn’t even think about him without feeling limp and damaged, much less to say that I’d meet him again and apologize. I had to suck it up, suck up this guilt and live with it. Go away from here, away from everything that reminded me of him.

It was time I came to terms with the fact that I am not strong. No matter how much I said it, I’m not. My actions kept proving me wrong. It was time to face the truth. I’m only human after all.

With that thought, I decided to book a flight to London, I’ll meet Jenna and Nina back there, just to see them again and after that, we’ll all head back home together where we’ll live happily ever after and no one has to know of this- the past. They don’t need to know about this. The only flight that I was able to get was the nine o’clock flight in the morning tomorrow. Well, that was good enough I guess.

Heading downstairs, I noticed Melissa in the kitchen helping the cook with the food. She was honestly a graceful-looking girl, sweet and innocent in appearance with bright blue eyes and strawberry blonde silky hair. It made me wonder why she married Lucas- that pig.

“Juliet.” She called to me with an angelic smile, now about to sit at the table, “Why don’t you join me?”

“I-“

“Please don’t refuse.”

It was hard not to, if I did would probably seem rude and I didn’t want to get on anyone’s bad side. I wanted to ask this girl so many questions, but I refrained from doing so. It won’t matter anyway because I’m leaving.

“Are you alright?” She questioned me with a worried look.

Something about this girl. Something was off. She was sweet- too sweet. Or maybe I was just mean. Being around Vandermir made everyone else suddenly seem like angelic saints. I probably shouldn’t worry about it.

“I’m fine,” I assured her.

“Juliet- I understand how you might be feeling right now but I want you to know that I’m here for you.” She sighed, placing her hand on mine, “We’re family. You can trust me and tell me anything, any problem you’re having- call me your sister even. I’ve always wanted a sister.”

I suddenly began to feel a bit guilty about booking that flight ticket. Maybe I should tell her about it. I don’t want the poor girl to get any hopes up thinking I’d stay here. I won’t do that to her.

“You’re a very nice person, Melissa. I appreciate your concern but… I don’t think I could continue staying here.”

“What do you mean?”

“This place- I – want to go home. It’s just… it isn’t right for me.”

“Oh,” She said sadly but slowly brought a smile to her face, “I understand, and honestly, I completely agree with you.”

“What?”

“This place really has so much negative energy. And I know you must have family you’re longing to see. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave.”

“I do have a family.” I stated with a soft smile just thinking about meeting Nina and Jenna again as my phone suddenly began to ring, “Oh, excuse me.”

Taking the call, I went outside to speak, but it had just been some guy asking for some medical help from a pharmacy. Wrong number. I just hated getting those calls. The sky had still been overcast with a grey blanket but no rain- not yet at least. It was going to be the last time in Montana, maybe I should explore the place a bit, just to get my mind off things.

Taking a taxi, I did a bit of sightseeing. Before I headed back to the house, I asked the driver to stop. I stopped at the front of a large field with a huge church sitting at the center. How neatly graceful it seemed to be. Honestly, at the moment I didn’t care if the rain was about to fall soon, all I saw was how beauteous this place was with its evenly cut lime green grass and its tall old yet lovely brick building which stood at the middle. It was as if it was calling me in, like I was under some kind of magnetic spell. Inside the church was no less beautiful either. Even though it may have been quite cold, nothing felt like it mattered anymore except me being here.

Its artwork design was exquisite. It was different from any other I had been in because of the roman columns that were decorating the space inside. After lighting one of the candles which had been unlit, I walked around simply admiring the place. As I took a turn around one of the two large columns of the space, I nearly walked into someone coming out from the room at the side. Somehow, I didn’t know how to react when I saw him again. Drowning grey eyes filled of a somewhat surprise, pain and confusion all mixed together.

“Hi…” He breathed in a sore tone of voice.

“Hi…” I answered with a tremble feeling my heart thumping all different beats.

“You weren’t at the house when I went to… you weren’t-“

“I was out,” I answered awkwardly as a silence drifted amongst us. I didn’t want this silence. I didn’t want any more awkwardness. “Adrian,” I began with a soft sigh, “I’m glad we met before I- well-“

He looked at me intently as I spoke, I didn’t know why but this felt so difficult to say. My throat burned and inside my chest suddenly felt empty.

“I’m leaving,” I said quietly.

“Leaving?” He asked in confusion.

Nodding at him, I swallowed the pain down, “Y-yes. I’m going back home- with Jenna and Nina and Mrs. Dawnly. Yesterday, what I said- I didn’t want that to be the last thing I ever said to you. It was rude and I’m sorry.”

I stopped to take another painful breath. “I do wish you the best in your future endeavours, Mr. Vandermir.”

With that, I stuck my slightly shaking hand out to him. He didn’t take it. All he did was look at me as if I was some sort of foreign being. He upheld this expression- I was unsure of what it actually was. I never understood him, why would I now anyway? God, I just felt so stupid. He looks for every chance he gets to humiliate me in whatever way he can. He hasn’t changed, probably never would. Dropping my hand at my side in disbelief that he would still be a bastard to me, I couldn’t help but let out a soft short sob as I shook my head slightly and walked away from him.

“Julie.” He called, walking after me out of the church.

“No Adrian, just leave me alone. You look for every opportunity you have to make me feel inferior to you.” I said agonizingly as I walked on the endless field, feeling the small drops of rain in my head.

Away from Adrian, away from making my wound even deeper than it already was.

“That’s not true, Juliet. Wait.” He continued coming after me. I didn’t stop. I didn’t turn around. “You asked me want I wanted!” He shouted but faded as he continued, “What I wanted after the partnership, my reason to live. It’s you. It will always be.”

What? What did he just say?

I turned around in disbelief, only to see him standing a bit away from me looking as damaged as I’ve probably never seen him before.

“I know I’m not the nicest person around, I’ve been an ass to you- you’re right- I was. But I can change, at least I’ll try to. You’re the only person that ever made me feel like this.” He took a deep painful breath and continued, “I thought it was just lust- it’s not. It’s more than that- more than me just wanting you in every possible way. Hell, I don’t know how you do this to me. I need you… I’m in love with you, Julie.”

He… He what?…

Adrian walked up to me with a sort of childish pleading look in his eyes, a maddening type of agony.

“And I surrender,” He breathed, kneeling to the ground using his right foot as support and gazing up at me, “-everything. I’ve never knelt down to anyone in my entire life willingly, but for you- I would. Only for you.”

My heart was hammering so fast I felt like I would be knocked down by it. This- this wasn’t happening. This- was this real? I didn’t know how to breathe. He kept his gaze up at me as he took a small box out of his pocket and held it out.

“Juliet Rosalie Greene,” he said in a soft, raw voice, “Will you marry me?”

D-did he… Just… He… I lost my ability to actually breathe. M-marry him? My knees felt so weak, I was going to fall. No- no keep steady. He’s asking me t-to marry him? Oh God, I – don’t know what to say. I wanted to say yes but… I couldn’t. I can’t marry him. He’ll go away just like everyone else did to me, everyone I loved- they left me. I won’t be able to handle that kind of pain. I can’t- and he- he doesn’t know what he’s doing- I’m just bad luck with two feet. I can’t ruin him like that, I’m a misfortune to have around. God, I want to say yes- but- I – what if he-

I tried to speak, but I couldn’t find my voice. I didn’t even know what to say. Taking two steps back, I turned around and walked away.

I tried to.

The rain camouflaged the pain streaming down my face. God, this was so hard. This hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. Why did this happen? I’ll go away and he’ll forget me. That would be better for both of us. It would save us from the pain.

Wasn’t he the same one who said that family doesn’t last? He was right. They always end up breaking somehow. As I tried to walk a little faster, I suddenly tripped and fell. This was more than embarrassing.

This humiliation never seemed to leave me. I couldn’t get up, it just felt so difficult- so impossible to do that. Sitting on the wet grass, I felt the cold drops of rain hit my face washing away the hot tears that leaked down. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop feeling like this.

“Julie,” Adrian’s voice burned next to me as he stooped to my level, “I know this was sudden for you-“

“It’s not that,” I said, trying to control my sobs.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to tell him. He just looked at me, stood next to me without a word, studying me.

“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” He gave a soft smile, breaking the silence. Turning to look at him, he helped me up and pushed the strands of wet glued hair away from my face, “I’m not going to leave you, Juliet. And I don’t have any intentions of hurting you.”

“But what if I’m bad luck -what if I’m just-“

“You’re not.” He quietly laughed, “You lack a few screws, but you’re not bad luck.”

“Promise me,” I said as I hugged him burying my face into his shoulder.

“I promise.” He replied, holding me tightly against him.

It felt nice, being held by the person you loved. Having him hold me. I knew that this wasn’t just physical attraction. I wasn’t hugging the person who would make women swoon just by a glimpse of him. I was hugging the person underneath all that, behind his walls, the damaged child that grew into a man, who transformed his hurt and pain into a new hope. He was the one I loved, the one that made me feel protected and stronger, the person who pushed me to my limits only for my own good, the one that was always there in the end, always will be. He was the one that made me feel somewhat healed- completed- even though he too was broken. I guess we were like two halves of one heart. I didn’t want to let go, not yet, but I slightly pulled away to look at him.

I couldn’t live without this man and it was time I had to admit that.

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